I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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