R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I haven't been this sober since birth.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
