I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I will pee on everything he values.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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