i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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