Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
