like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Boobs speak an international language.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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