maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
