We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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