I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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