question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
there was a trapeze. enough said
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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