Me too!
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
