this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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