i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
