I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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