You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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