And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
