I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
