I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
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WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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