My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
