JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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