would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
