just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
