This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
