Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
