you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
