I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
