Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
