The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
