I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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