Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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