Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
