she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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