Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
