She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
