i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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