thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
