Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
