i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
