I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
