I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
