also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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