i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I can't put those talents on a resume
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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