how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Bring me that man meat
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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