after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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