Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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