There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
