Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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