Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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