The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
