I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
