Are we in a gay sports bar?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She's the barista slut.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
