and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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