I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
