I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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