thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
