When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
