I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
