She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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