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I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nutella sex= disaster
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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