I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I have post one night stand depression
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
