We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize