He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
