You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
