stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
