Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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