Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
