I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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