She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
