Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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