Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
