when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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