Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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