What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
