why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
